Warm Loving Family

You know how in life you have pain...and wished you only have happiness

well without pain you can't find true happiness but...

does the pain have to be to much?..

why does it have to be so hurtful?

ah..i seem to have change the topic of what i was really meant to writing...

but what i have to write does kind of involve what i just said....

When i thought just maybe i would be able to know what it feels like 

to have a family...yes i want to know what a real warm family feels like...

ah but too bad for me...i guess in this life i just don't have it....

today... my mum just told me..my dad had left us for good...

he is not going to come back...he is going to stay with someone else

i  do think it's right for him to leave since he did hurt my mum,my family and me

but... i really did wished that he could of chose us instead of a blind love 

and had stayed and loved us.....

He could of at lease showed me that a family really is...

and could of proven that ''family may stay but they will never last'' was wrong

Everyday and night..my mum was in pain..

she wanted to move on but was always looking back....

she still loved him

...

it's getting harder to fake everything was ok

it's harder to believe what i want to believe

it's harder to wear a smile every time....

it's impossible to have warm loving family for me